Chaos with Cait

I let myself feel it all, because every emotion belongs to my aliveness. And, my aliveness is what keeps me here.

My heart yearns for stability. I crave independence, and freedom with every breath I breathe.

Love yourself a bit more today, you deserve it.

The moon speaks to me, she walks with me, she heals me. In all of the moon’s phases she is still so worthy. Even when only a sliver remains, she never doubts her place in the sky. She whispers that same truth to me, reminding me that even in my broken hours, I still shine.

The tide pulls, and I follow. A willing exile from the shores edge.

I pack disappointment the way other people pack lip balm. A displeasure of self sits in my purse, like a special seasoning that I must sprinkle onto every meal. I find myself to be difficult, always ready for war. Except, the funny thing is, there is always only one person on the battlefield, me. I rip myself to shreds, like I used to tell the teachers my dog did to my homework. I am exhausting, two million thoughts a minute, and I must acknowledge all of them.

She is a waterfall disguised as patience, a mountain wearing softness. The world calls her a contradiction, and yet magic calls her balanced.

Society taught me that shrinking was polite. So now, I choose to be loud, on purpose. I have no desire to fit in, or shape shift to fit into molds. I have a story to tell, and it will be my way that it is told. I am tired of shrinking, sick of second guessing my own voice. Our society needs new diverse voices, and so I bravely share mine.

Fairy girls can never be owned. We are hard to catch and impossible to hold. Dreamers with wide wings and hearts lit like lanterns in the wind, dancing in colors no hands can follow. We are a haunting sweetness never lost, never yours. Just never meant to stay.

I am what feels to be a hopeless romantic. I do not just crave love, I crave the softness that makes the world feel survivable.

I don’t just want connection I crave it, like oxygen that I’ve somehow learned to ration.

Reality haunts me, but my dreams keep me alive.

No is a sentence. Yes, is my sanctuary.

I rose, not because I was ready, but because staying down was killing me faster.

Every heartbeat of mine, is a form of rebellion. A gentle declaration that I am not finished.

Even bruised, I believe in the kind of love that does not ask me to shrink.

I am allowed, to outgrow the versions of me that only knew survival. I am allowed, to become a brand new version of me.

Hope is not loud it doesn’t shout its way back. Hope hums beneath the grief like a song you almost forgot you knew, the one your body knows before your mouth does. Until one day, without deciding to you start singing along. And now, a new band has been formed out of you two where time is spent learning how to play what’s left, and what’s next.

Your worth does not whisper, it glows steady like a sunrise that refuses to apologize for burning gold. You are a universe made of miracles. Life was not kind, and still you chose softness anyway. Your heart is resilient, it keeps rising even after being split open. Your tenderness is holy, your strength undeniable. Your existence makes the world lean in closer. Adore yourself gently, then fiercely, the way that you were always supposed to. Because you, beloved, are sacred to

I release the year behind me with gratitude, not regret Truthfully, we survived each other. That I count as a win. I welcome what is coming with open hands and steady breath. Curiosity captures me while I dream about what’s to come next. So I no longer demand answers, I only crave change and the shift of a world I once knew. This new year is not a reset, but a continuation of a woman still standing, Still dreaming up a life worth living. This new year, you can find me revived