Chaos with Cait

In a world full of sirens and slammed doors, we chose each other. Two steady heartbeats beneath the thunder, refusing to drown.

Fairy girls can never be owned. We are hard to catch and impossible to hold. Dreamers with wide wings and hearts lit like lanterns in the wind, dancing in colors no hands can follow. We are a haunting sweetness never lost, never yours. Just never meant to stay.

The thought of you pulls at me like gravity in a room with no exit.

I have seen the sky open after the longest storm. That is why I stay. I stay, to keep on witnessing the beauty of the world. I dive headfirst into the unbelievable, where I swim laps with the unsure. I laugh, I float & I do my best not to sink. I tread lightly, knowing the universe has something special waiting for me.

The glass is fragile but the sand is endless, and unafraid. Time is always ticking and yet, it is not about what you’ve lost, but where time could take you instead. So be fragile, be endless, be unafraid.

Lost, I may be. Yet, found I always am. And so, even the stars envy the way I keep circling back to wonder.

I am what feels to be a hopeless romantic. I do not just crave love, I crave the softness that makes the world feel survivable.

I know that there is always room for wonder. I know that there is always time for beginning again. I won’t.. let anybody tell me anything different.

I wonder about it all. I wonder why everything is the way that it is. I wonder if what we know, is even true. I wonder if there is room for change in life’s game. I wonder about the different outcomes in different circumstances, and how they vary for both me and you. I wonder about people’s internal worlds. I wonder about all of the things they could have gone through. I wonder about this timeline and the role that I play in it. I wonder so much that my brain is always worki

I kissed the corner of my no’s goodbye, and carved yes into the marrow of my bones. I have decided to let go, to trust and to let things flow. I once held my “no’s” so tightly. Afraid of what could come if I tried things differently. I was so stuck in my own ways, but thankfully not any longer. Now, I dance in the rain, and simply enjoy life’s wonders. This life is mine. And my life is only once in a lifetime. So this is my claim to renew myself and try again.

My worth is not up for discussion, not even with myself. I know that I am magic. So there is nothing to debate about.

For once, I have chosen not to step back. Instead, I keep on choosing to stay.

My grief rose one night, and slipped from my chest like a small trembling moon. I thought my grief would break me but instead it somehow learned to glow, orbiting closer with every breath I survived. Now, I see grief for what it is, a fallen star that I picked up with my bare hands. One still burning with the memory of everything I’ve lost. Grief doesn’t vanish, it constellates. Grief sketches new patterns across the dark and teaches me that even my sorrow can learn the langu

I set boundaries not to push love away, but to honor and protect the love that I give. Knowing my limits is genuinely a new thing for me.

You are not worthless, and you are not small. The world just gets louder when it fears how powerful you truly are.

I did not grow tall, I grew true. I was bent by wild wind, there were times when I wanted to give in. But, my roots stayed strong. And so, I may be weathered and a little torn, but I have been reaching towards the sun anyways.

Forever isn’t long enough, if you ask me. Matter of fact, I don’t even know if “forever” is a real thing. What I do know is that in this life there are moments where I wish I could make the clock freeze. I want to bottle these moments of laughter, and joy. I want to keep them forever. Forever seems like a long time in theory. But have we ever even seen anyone make it there? I’m not sure I have. So, I have been choosing to live life a little more present. I have been slowing t

My heart is kind even after everything, that is where my magic rests. That is where I store all of the love, gratitude and tiny miracles inside of my chest

I sip the thought of you like a heated tea on a cold almost spring morning burning, but necessary. The thoughts consumed me, and suddenly I could no longer put my tea down. I found myself in a spiral of all the could haves, the should haves, or perhaps even the would haves. I started questioning things again, asking what could all this life stuff actually be about? I bet you think that I never think of you, but the truth is, that I do. And in the moments that I think of you

Hold on, love Take a moment, breathe. Because yes, the light is slower than the darkness. But still it never forgets its way back to you. Be steady, my darling Every shadow you have survived is proof that you were glowing even when you couldn’t see it. Your sunrise is coming, you have been devoted to your self growth and you have been patient. You have believed in your light and have chosen to always maintain it. Keep breathing. Keep hoping. Because the light is already on i