Chaos with Cait

In a world so magical, so full of endless miracles I wonder how we became this. When was the day we traded green forests for grey horizons, clean rivers for plastic veins, fresh air for lungs full of smoke? I ask the universe.. Who gave us permission? Who told us the trees were ours to cut, the ocean ours to poison, the mountains ours to hollow out for another dollar? We act as though we own the Earth, yet our names are written here only for a moment. Mortality is inevitable,

I rebuild myself gently no rush, just truth.

I pack disappointment the way other people pack lip balm. A displeasure of self sits in my purse, like a special seasoning that I must sprinkle onto every meal. I find myself to be difficult, always ready for war. Except, the funny thing is, there is always only one person on the battlefield, me. I rip myself to shreds, like I used to tell the teachers my dog did to my homework. I am exhausting, two million thoughts a minute, and I must acknowledge all of them.

I didn’t know how brave I was, until I chose to stay for another breath. And then, another, and another.

I grew up dreaming of stability. Not wealth. Not success. Just a floor that stayed beneath my feet. For as long as I remember, every house I lived in felt haunted. Not by ghosts, but by addiction, neglect, rage that traveled through walls, and adults who carried storms inside of them. I was a child, learning to read for danger before I learned safety. I listened for footsteps. Measured voices. Studied slammed doors. Home was never a place. It was a question. Would the lights

Some days, survival for me is making the choice to drink water, to breathe deeply and simply do my best to just stay.

For years, I believed the darkness knew my name, trailing behind me like a silent wolf through moonlit woods and restless nights. More than once, I wandered too close to its waiting jaws, feeling its shadows curl around my ankles like roots beneath an ancient forest. I spent countless seasons at war, sword drawn against ghosts only I could see, pleading with the stars above for a dawn that wouldn’t fade. Then one morning, as the sky blushed gold, a quiet truth arrived with th

I spent years starving myself of the love I hungered for the most. I learned to live with the ache of longing, carrying it like a wound I refused to let heal. I poured every ounce of tenderness into loving you believing that if I gave enough, I would finally feel whole. But the love I was searching for, was never yours to give, it was my own. Yet I spent years laying it at your feet, sacrificing myself piece by piece in the name of you.

Your doubt is too small a weapon to pierce my becoming. I rise again, even after the ashes.

She is a waterfall disguised as patience, a mountain wearing softness. The world calls her a contradiction, and yet magic calls her balanced.

Society taught me that shrinking was polite. So now, I choose to be loud, on purpose. I have no desire to fit in, or shape shift to fit into molds. I have a story to tell, and it will be my way that it is told. I am tired of shrinking, sick of second guessing my own voice. Our society needs new diverse voices, and so I bravely share mine.

I am not of this world, yet this world clings to me just as ivy clings to a crumbling wall.

You were supposed to be my anchor. Instead, you became the silence I learned to live inside. A mothers love, they say it shapes you, teaches you the language of safety, even gives you a map for conquering the world. But, what map was I given when you folded yours away and walked out of sight? I built myself from absence. Every triumph, a solo celebration every heartbreak, a weight I carried alone. I carried all of my burdens alone waiting for your voice to steady me, but it n

Hope doesn’t ask for certainty. Hope only asks that you stay soft, long enough to listen. It is okay to become a “delusional” believer. Trust in yourself, have faith and life will soon become clearer.

I am no longer afraid of being seen the light can have me, all of me

I have laid down my sword. The war no longer needs my fire. So If this is surrender, let it be gentle. A soft return to myself.

In a world full of sirens and slammed doors, we chose each other. Two steady heartbeats beneath the thunder, refusing to drown.

Fairy girls can never be owned. We are hard to catch and impossible to hold. Dreamers with wide wings and hearts lit like lanterns in the wind, dancing in colors no hands can follow. We are a haunting sweetness never lost, never yours. Just never meant to stay.

The thought of you pulls at me like gravity in a room with no exit.

I have seen the sky open after the longest storm. That is why I stay. I stay, to keep on witnessing the beauty of the world. I dive headfirst into the unbelievable, where I swim laps with the unsure. I laugh, I float & I do my best not to sink. I tread lightly, knowing the universe has something special waiting for me.