Chaos with Cait

I cannot grasp the gravity of this loss. I wonder daily why my bloodline must endure cancer that ends so catastrophically. This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. I would do anything to ensure that you could still be here. Dana, your love and your light shined so brightly. You touched so many lives. You inspired people in ways you may have never fully known. You will be missed. Today, tomorrow and always.

Tomorrow is never promised. And I, am tired of living like it is.

Buried isn’t broken just waiting for the right sun.

What have you ever done for me besides what the law expected of you? You called it love. I call it the bare minimum.

So, let them. Let them talk. Let them wonder. Let them misunderstand.

I have been working on healing, my very angry and judgmental heart.

I took my last anxiety medicine today. I have an appointment scheduled with a new psychiatrist for friday. But, when I was filling out the paperwork on the app for the virtual meeting, the last page didn’t work, or I wasn’t putting in the right information? So, I don’t know if they accepted it, or if I still have more to finish… -that was my anxiety texting. She wasn’t done. I should have let her finish. I should have encouraged her, to spill all that she was thinking. But, I

Women should be able to walk outside after dark without fear that a stranger’s presence will turn freedom into vigilance. Teenage girls should be able to walk down the street, uninterrupted. Without car horns, without catcalls, without being taught that their bodies are public property. Young girls should be able to exist innocently; to grow, to play, to trust, without being groomed, without being preyed upon. We should not have to learn to survive before we learn how to liv

Some days survival is the only victory. A quiet, uncelebrated act of holding on when the world pulls at you hard.

Anxiety does not arrive with the thunder of Thor. It slips beneath the skin, an unseen tide rising through the ribs until my lungs become strangers and my throat is pulled tight by hands no one else can see. Anxiety for me is a silent strangling, where every swallow feels borrowed. The world begins to dissolve. Colors lose their certainty. Voices stretch into echoes. The floor forgets how to hold me, and reality fractures into sharp, glittering pieces I can no longer gather.

Life is just that, breathtakingly brutal, yet so, so, so beautiful

I liked him because he was weird and mysterious, like me. But with time, I think that I started to hate him for that very same reason.

Some mornings, the sun looks at me like it remembers the day I first decided to stay. Back then, she hovered outside unsure if I would open the door. Now her light waits on my face, bright and warm brushing against the scars I carry, like a soft supporter who never stopped believing in me.

I have fallen in love with the sound of my own breathing. My pulse is something, I do not take for granted.

In a world so magical, so full of endless miracles I wonder how we became this. When was the day we traded green forests for grey horizons, clean rivers for plastic veins, fresh air for lungs full of smoke? I ask the universe.. Who gave us permission? Who told us the trees were ours to cut, the ocean ours to poison, the mountains ours to hollow out for another dollar? We act as though we own the Earth, yet our names are written here only for a moment. Mortality is inevitable,

For years, I believed the darkness knew my name, trailing behind me like a silent wolf through moonlit woods and restless nights. More than once, I wandered too close to its waiting jaws, feeling its shadows curl around my ankles like roots beneath an ancient forest. I spent countless seasons at war, sword drawn against ghosts only I could see, pleading with the stars above for a dawn that wouldn’t fade. Then one morning, as the sky blushed gold, a quiet truth arrived with th

I set boundaries not to push love away, but to honor and protect the love that I give. Knowing my limits is genuinely a new thing for me.

You are not worthless, and you are not small. The world just gets louder when it fears how powerful you truly are.

Hold on, love Take a moment, breathe. Because yes, the light is slower than the darkness. But still it never forgets its way back to you. Be steady, my darling Every shadow you have survived is proof that you were glowing even when you couldn’t see it. Your sunrise is coming, you have been devoted to your self growth and you have been patient. You have believed in your light and have chosen to always maintain it. Keep breathing. Keep hoping. Because the light is already on i

I kiss the air and imagine that the wind carries it to someone, somewhere who is aching too.