Moments Of Instability

Today I cried

loud and hard

then,

soft and quiet.

Tears flowing off of my face uncontrollably then,

tears barely making it to my cheeks before I wiped them dry.

"get it together,

get it together,

get it together"

Are the thoughts that suddenly come flooding in from my brain.

Why do I find it so incredibly hard to allow myself moments of instability?